Thursday, 27 December 2007

The Two Paths

Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Isaiah 55: 1-2

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Matthew 6: 24

I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High. But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes. Psalm 82: 6-7
I have found that in every moment I have two decisions: do I follow the path of my True Self as Love or do I go with what society and the world says is true. One choice is usually for free and the other is one you have to sweat blood and guts for.

I remember years ago I did some voluntary work at the local Women's Centre. At the time I was exploring my identity as a woman. I got to meet women from different backgrounds. I was also thinking about going into therapy because I believed there was some childhood issues I needed to deal with. I had already seen two therapists but I didn't feel they were suitable. At the Women's Centre I met this woman who called herself a spiritual counsellor. She offered sessions for free at her house and invited me for a session.

At our first session I felt myself opening up and I poured out everything that I was unhappy with, which I attributed to experiences I had had as a child. I ranted and raved for about two hours and wailed like a banshee. I was so embarrassed to cry in front of that woman as I always saw crying as weak. After I had exhausted myself, the counsellor suggested that I visualise all those people who had hurt me and then forgive them. Forgive? That's way too simple and naive an approach! I thought we were going to spend months discussing this not forgiveness. Besides, how could I forgive them when they didn't believe they had done anything wrong? The counsellor said I was welcome to return the next week. Before I left, I went to the bathroom where I repaired my makeup and silently vowed I would never return to that "mad" woman again. Forgiveness? Bloody cheek!

One day at a creative writing evening class I was attending, I heard this woman talking about her therapy sessions. I asked for her therapist's details and made an appointment to see her. Her approach was exactly what I had in mind where I can talk and she analyses me. She encouraged me to record my dreams. The only catch was I couldn't afford our weekly sessions because I was a student and living on pittance. My therapist offered to charge me half the amount and we agreed to meet about once every two weeks. In between our sessions, she recommended books for me to read to enable me to understand my psyche. Fortunately, I didn't have to buy them; I borrowed them from her library. She also advised me to join a women's support group which I attended. I still found it quite hard trying to make my student grant stretch to include therapy sessions. I ended up seeing her for about six months until one day I realised I no longer needed to be in therapy. (See The Causeless Cause).

As you can see, I was offered the way of Love and forgiveness which came for free but I wasn't open to that approach. I ended up experiencing a way that I could relate to, which I couldn't even afford. It's good to know that the Universe was supporting my beliefs anyway.

Years later, I had a knee injury. I spent about two years looking for a cure and seeing various therapists. After I had depleted my resources, I turned to God and asked for HIS help. God showed me a vision of myself running. There came a point when I ran for a bus and my knee was perfect. (See The Gift of Unbelief). How much did God's vision cost me? Not a single penny.

Years ago I was feeling very depressed. At the time I was temping and I wasn't happy doing it. I knew that being someone's secretary wasn't my destiny. I wanted a whole new direction, a new life, but I didn't know how to go about it.

One day I heard a Voice within me telling me to get out my notebook. The Voice started dictating to me affirmations such as:

I AM Love
I AM Peace
I AM Joy
I AM Power
I AM Wisdom
I AM Freedom
I AM Fulfilment
I AM That I AM

And so it went on. I was soon called up for a week's contract but it turned out there wasn't much typing so I ended up writing out I AM affirmations in my notebook.

The Voice told me that I already had everything within me and when I affirm as the I AM, I am calling it forth. I was told that the I AM within me, my God Presence, would teach me Her way of doing things, as opposed to the world's way. I was to follow no one but trust in my God Presence.

I wish I could say everything was easy. It was difficult for me to accept this. How could I possibly think I can be God with affirmations? There was also my Christian programming to contend with that says the only way to God is through Jesus. I also realised I was frightened of experiencing my own greatness. And I didn't have to pay for it, which meant it must have little or no value.

Gradually I started to trust in mySelf. I realised I didn't need to channel anyone but to simply be the I AM and let the I AM express as my experiences. I also realised that I have my own unique path and blueprint that I am here to follow and share with others.

In case you're wondering how much it has cost me to express my I AM? Zilch.

By the way, I'm not saying that a way is wrong because you have to pay for it. I am very much aware we live in a reality where money is used as exchange. As long as people still believe that we need to earn our good, then we'll continue to have an exchange system where money is part and parcel of that reality. I do believe that even that money can come for free when you trust in Love.

So there you have it, I'm always given two choices in every moment: the Love I AM or follow the world's way.

I AM Infinite Love.

Enocia

Related articles: Continuous Play; The Path of Love; Faith is Seeing Beyond the Fog; Self-Belief- Revisited; Specialist Subject - Love; Trusting in Love; God Can Afford Everything; The Universe Gives and the Universe Takes Away; Dominion; Channelling; Support; Acting is Being; But the Emperor is Naked; All That You Seek You Already Are; The Hard Way or the Easy Way; Money, Transaction and Free Market; Are the Best Things in Life Free?